Sunday, August 1, 2010 0 comments

Diverging Paths

Friday, July 30th through Saturday, July 31st

Hey guys! I know these last two pasts are several days late. I have been travelling about 2/3rds of the way around the world (how often can I say that? tehe) and internet access has been pretty much non-existent. However, good news is: I am successfully off on my next (and sadly last) adventure of this summer! I’ll post more details about it at the end of this post.

Laguna Beach

So we got to sleep in a little this morning, before heading off again on to the day’s adventures. The morning was mostly spent groggily shuffling down to breakfast, being semi-conscious of eating, and then groggily shuffling back to the room. Did hem my pants though, which made me feel accomplished. And the Momster did some of our laundry which was great. Now I could stand within a 10 foot radius of people again.

Piling into the car, the first stop of the day was Laguna Beach, while I believe is also the title of a teenybopper daytime soap? Hey! Microsoft word didn’t underline teenybopper, recognizing it as a word! Oh that excites me. But yeah. I actually had no idea where we were when we got there, as I was dead to the world on the drive up. But it was pretty. Cold, but pretty. All of Southern Cali was chilly. This was so weird to me.

I also didn’t take any pictures, as I was too busy quite realistically depicting the living dead.

Newport Beach and Costa Mesa

The next stop on our great beach tour was Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, another place that Dad used to live. We spent some time walking along the cutest little boardwalk along the beach (their beach houses were so much cuter than East Coast beach houses) and along the pier.

Three things:
1.       It must not flood ever as all the houses were on ground level.
2.       It was freezing. 70 degrees is not beach weather. The overabundance of bikinis claimed otherwise.
3.       Proclaiming everyone’s eternal damnation has become a family affair. Hiding behind a pillar, I managed to get a shot of one of the daughter’s signs:

I was hiding behind a pole..

Ohhh if I weren’t such a nice person (and some of you can stop laughing), I could have such fun with people like these.

We walked a bit along the pier, where I reached the conclusion that fishing is a bit of a dumb sport. You stand there for hours holding a string with dead meat on it, hoping that some other creature is dumb enough to eat it. Hmmm, I could make some crass political parallel here, but seeing as I am not entirely sure of my audience, I shall refrain...

Hunting down Dad’s old home was quite an adventure, but eventually we found the tiny little house that he shared with…well, an old girlfriend. Haha Dad became remarkably more interested in the McDonald’s they were building nearby when we pressed him for details.

The cool thing about this particular house, was that he was next door neighbors with Peter Gallagher, the actor. He’s the guy who plays the father on the O.C. and is the CIA director in Covert Affairs. Psh yeah.

Ruth and Wayne’s House

Since I was flying out of LAX the next morning, we decided to cash in on family hospitality and spend the night at our cousins’, Wayne and Ruth Glass’s, place outside of Los Angeles in Pacific Palacades (I think I spelled that incorrectly). That was also a really long sentence. But yeah, the Glasses were super hospitable and graciously offered up both their home and their fridge to us for the night.


We walked on the beach some with Ruth as you can kind of see in the above (admittedly bad) picture. However, the outside temperature permitted us to do little more that stick our toes in the water and then run screaming to the security of the warm sand.  There were also some really weird piles of rocks on the beach (and what appeared to be a dead goose) which Ruth said was really unusual. Hmm strange. I think I like the East Coast beaches a little bit more. They’re warmer too, which is always a plus.

The evening was spent eating a delicious meal, followed by great conversation. Love it! Unfortunately, I did stay up long after everyone else went to bed, mainly putting together my blog for India (so you better appreciate it. Grr.). However, I did get some sleep which was probably a bad idea considering I’ll be spending the next two days on a plane.

In the morning, we ate another very delicious meal, had more great convos, and I proceeded to try and repack everything I had into as small a space as possible. This is no small feat let me assure you. Wayne was incredibly generous and gave me a very professional looking padfolio (I had been looking for one for a few weeks) AND gave my brothers a USC hat and jersey. How thoughtful was that? :D. Ruth and Wayne also had a guest book for their house that we had to sign, which I thought was the greatest idea. I’m totally going to steal that for my future house. The idea, not their guest book.

The End

Well, this is where I am going to end this blog. I’m going to pick up right where I left off in my next blog, the India one. Since I can’t just end with a ‘see ya, see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya’ taunt that my inner kindergartener is tempted to leave, I shall put in a brief reflective summary:

Overall, this was a great trip, allowing me to visit places I’ve never been and see things I haven’t seen. I got to horseback ride in the Rockies, spit into the Grand Canyon, gamble in Vegas, climb through cacti in San Diego, battle traffic in Los Angeles, stick my feet in the Pacific, and spend more time cramped in small places with my family than most college students would ever hope for.

But my favorite part by far was getting to spend an extended weekend with my extended family. I loved getting to talk to everyone, remeet everyone, hear the cool things people are doing, everything. You can travel all over the world, see all the amazing sights, but in the end, what really matters are the people you meet and build connections to. That is what is most meaningful.

 At least to me. My boundless wisdom I have accrued here in my numerous years on this planet hardly qualifies me to speak for everyone else.

But yeah, here is where I leave you guys. The rest of the fam is travelling up the coast to San Francisco to see the cool sights like Alcatraz, Monterey Aquarium, etc etc. Kinda bummed I’m missing out on it. Ah well. Can’t have everything. I was going to have one of them continue this blog, but as is always the case, we ran out of time. I will add their pictures though once they get back.

That being said, if you haven’t seen all the pictures from this trip already, here they are at:

Also, if you are interested in reading a little about my India trip, feel free to follow my adventures at http://indianglimpses2010.blogspot.com/. Or at least glance out it, cuz I am rather fond of this design.

Onward and upward :)

Cacti and California

Thursday, July 29th

So I am still a day behind in my posts, meaning that not only do I have to do two posts tonight, but I also need to get all my travel information together for my flight tomorrow. Oh and I also need to make my blog for India.  For a normal person, this would be lowest on the list of priorities, but we all know that I would probably never be described as normal.

Hittin’ the Road, Jack

Let’s see. We left off at the nighttime explorations of Las Vegas, a mildly amusing, but generally all around trashy city. If I may be so blunt, of course. 

Today, we got up extra early and hit the road. Or tried to. In reality, we got up extra early and sat in the car, where we proceeded to have a huge power struggle with Carmen, our Garmin. But after a few yelling matches (always a good use of our time when dealing with technology), we manage to make it to the highway. Besides, who wants to argue with someone whose pronunciation of Boulevard sounds something akin to a drowning fish? (You think fish can’t drown? Think again)

The first destination for today? San Diego, site of the famous zoo, seal beaches, and my cousin Steve Huyler’s new India exhibit. The six hour ride was more or less uneventful, barring of course the face making contest my brothers had in the reflection on my computer screen. For hours. But we arrive in San Diego in more or less good spirits.

San Diego – the Sonabai Exhibit

First off, let me just say that I LOVE San Diego. Or at least the parts of it that I saw. You might notice my ecstatic tweet over to the right of the screen, which basically just says exactly what I just told you. Yayyy, redundancy!


The best part about San Diego is by far Balboa Park. Very beautifully landscaped, with large open walkways and beautiful tree arrangements (none of which is native being as the region is all reclaimed desert –> fun factoid). The park is also filled with many museums, gardens and the zoo, and it was in the Minghei Museum (I thinkkkk…), that Steve had his Sonabai exhibit.

Wow. The exhibit was just fantastic. And I’m not just saying that because I’m related to him and there is the off-chance that he might read this. The whole exhibit was a tribute to this Indian woman Sonabai and the amazing contributions she made to Indian art – all of which she made being secluded in her husband’s house for 15 years…alone. Kinda makes me feel like I wasted my time when I was banished to my room for time out. I should’ve been making masterpieces.

But anyway, the exhibit was beautiful, full of color, light, pictures and music that mad eyou feel like you were there in an India village. However, my favorite part were the hanging photos that were backlit – very pretty and I might steal the idea with my future house. All in all, I highly recommend it to anyone who might be in the San Diego area before Sept. 5th.


The Cactus Garden

Leaving the exhibit, the fam and I went for a walk past the other museums and throughout the park. However, [cue dramatic music here] we soon came to a fork in the road. Alas, not a literal one, but a choice must be made. Should we visit the illustrious rose garden to our right? Or the spiny, dry cactus garden to our left? Dundundunnnn.

Despite four of the five family members voting for roses, an executive decision was made by La Madre. The cactus garden it is! It soon became apparent that we made the right choice (and by we, I mean Mom), as it was filled with all sorts of weird and twisted cacti. There may or may not have been mock shoving of the nearest sibling into said spiny apparatuses.


Now cacti are cool, but as some people know, we aren’t exactly on the best of terms. I accidentally let one of their brethren die after I forgot to water it. Yes, I killed a cactus. But hey, that takes skill. Mom however, loved seeing the cacti. Upon spying one particularly large and twisted cactus, she promptly declared, “If I were to be a plant, I would totally grow like that!” I knew I came from a twisted family…

We did also visit the rose garden and it was moderately cool.

Costal Views

After getting thoroughly lost and performing many u-turns on the way out of San Diego, we finally manage to find the scenic road that would take us up the Pacific coast. The problem was that this road kept having the unfortunate tendency to disappear. Now I was under the impression that this was supposed to be a relatively major road. This illusion was shattered when we spent the majority of the time on a small 30 mph road through a neighborhood filled with stop signs… Hmmm… But the view was pretty! Ish.

Along the way, we made several stops to ooh and ahh at the Pacific Ocean, warning signs be damned. I mean, when faced with a crumbling cliff and hazard signs, what else could we do except climb over the chain link fence for a better view?

 leads to...

We also stopped at La Jolla Beach, famous for its seals. We didn’t see any seals. Fail.

Del Mar y Bistecas Grandes!

An hour later into what was supposed to be a 20 minute trip, we arrive at Del Mar, where Dad used to live in 1970. Dad excitedly pointed out all the old jaunts where he used to hang. He also took us by to see the old house he used to live in. There were several people standing outside it, chatting and enjoying the weather. Personally, I think they must’ve been freaked out of their minds, watching a large Ford Escape with tinted windows drive slowly by, reverse and then drive by again. If that didn’t freak them out, us all looking right at them while pointing and talking profusely most likely did the trick.

That night, after driving in circles forever watching every open parking space being taken by the car in front of us (no joke – it happened like 6 or 7 times), we dined at an old favorite steakhouse of Dad’s by the name of Bully’s. Dad was super excited to see that not only was it still there 40 years later, but they still had the giant prime rib steaks that they were so famous for. Cowitarian that I am, I was of slightly of the same mind.


Later that evening , we crashed at a hotel in Encinidas, CA. Getting only one room for the evening (which only allows a max of 4 people), we had a brief scuffle to decide which child did not exist that night. Patrick lost (but hey, I didn’t exist in Las Vegas) so he got the floor. Somehow, the middle child (John Alex) always seems to claim a bed space…

Well that’s it for right now. The only other thing I have to report is that upon opening my email that night, I was pleased to discover that I was the recipient of a decent sized scholarship :). This was a pleasant surprise, especially considering the circumstances under which I applied. It’s vaguely interesting; I’ll sum up:
·         Scholarship application due: April 1st by 11:59 pm
·         April 1st at 6pm: I start driving my suitemates down to the beach for Easter weekend
·         8:30 pm: I let Hannah drive and begin writing my scholarship essay (hey, it was a busy week at school, so I ran out of time…)
·         9:30 pm: we arrive at the beach, essay is more or less finished.  
·         9:45 pm: I discover the house has no internet for me submit my application. Mild panic ensues.
·         10 pm: Hannah let’s me borrow her iPhone. I type up my entire essay on a 3.5” touchscreen and finish the rest of the application on her phone.
·         11pm: I submit the application. Hooray!

It’s a good thing I don’t leave things til the last minute. Well, that’s all for today folks! Tomorrow will most likely be the last post by me. Adios!

Thursday, July 29, 2010 1 comments

Tripping on the Strip

Wednesday, July 28th

Just in case you were wondering, the title refers solely to my clumsiness, not any illegal drug usages...

Lazy Morning Relaxations

The sun arose unnoticed in room 06-109. Those damn drapes blocked every drop of sunlight, meaning that the Porter children did not awake til about midday. After a very healthy breakfast at a nearby fast-food joint, we go to check out the pool.

Correction: pools. And the miles and miles of beach chairs that were filled with what appeared to be beached whales. Seriously, these people should NOT be wearing itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis. Though the opened mouthed snoring lady next to us was very entertaining.

Word on the street was that the pool was ice cold, even though outside temperatures were close to 110 degrees. So yeahhh, I was a wimp and didn’t even go into the water. But hey, I wasn’t the one complaining about the heat. It felt perfect outsideto me :D

The Tribute to Excess

Strolling along Las Vegas Blvd, we all saw the tributes to excess, like the Coca-Cola store, the M&M store, etcetera etcetera. Basically it was a whole street full of stores selling things that people will never need in a million years. A giant statue of a M&M?! Where is that supposed to go? Next to that life sized stuffed teddy bear you won at the State Fair? Yeah, really chic interior decoration.


I still don’t think anything can beat the giant plastic guitars that people wear around their necks that are filled beer. Soooo tacky. However, I will say that I enjoyed walking along the Strip. Lots of fun people watching and people dressed up in great costumes. And it still cracks me up that they have a giant this:


And still need to put a sign up on it saying Eiffel Tower. Just in case.

The front of the Bellagio also had a ginormous choreographed fountain performance set to music, which was great. And plus, it was the Bellagio! You know, site of Ocean’s Eleven? (or was it Thirteen?). That movie made me seriously consider becoming a criminal mastermind. Hmm…changing the subject.



The highlight the night was FINALLY getting a clear picture of Caesar’s Palace. I mean not only was it the site of the infamous Hangover, but after taking about 20 blurry pictures, nothing is more satisfying than finally getting a clear, crisp one. NOTHING, I TELL YOU. And I was just about to start impaling passerby with their plastic beer guitars…




We also stopped at this super cool place, filled with stores selling items whose paper price tags I probably couldn’t afford. But they had these neat water tornadoes that Mom and I had fun with:

 

Ahh to be young.

Nighttime Shenanigans

The evening was rather boring for us chill’ins. However, the ‘rents decided to hit up the town, ready for a night full of debaucheries. Ever therisk-seeking, high rollers, they played Roulette once, lost, and decided to call it quits. Tsk, tsk. They should’ve taken me with them. My vast experience with Roulette (namely two whole nights at Project Grad playing nothing but Roulette – yeah, I was cool) could have at least helped them win at least a little.

They also discovered that Vegas bars are not the cheapest things in the world. Or at least not that one. All in all, I’m glad I stuck with L&O: SVU. Seeing people traumatized and murdered is always preferable to losing money.

So ends the last night here in Vegas. Alas, no Hangover worthy stories to tell. I shall have to wait for my bachelorette party for that one.

**P.S. I forgot to mention this in my last post, but I succeeded in crossing something off my bucket list!! Much to the intense embarrassment and shame of my parents, I successfully managed to spit into the Grand Canyon. Already, I consider this trip a success. Score one for Ellen.**

Wednesday, July 28, 2010 1 comments

Happy Trails to Youuu

Tuesday, July 27th

Is it bad that when I awoke this morning, the first rush of excitement I felt was not from the upcoming explorations of the day but from the anticipation of a new episode of Covert Affairs being released tonight? Hmmm, I need to get my priorities straightened out. Natural Wonder of the World vs. a television show. Yeah, I know.

Oh and by the way, that plan I made to wake up and see the sunrise? Yeahhhh, about that…. Oops. Well, from what I could see from inside my cabin and through closed eyelids, it was very pretty.

Bright Angel Hike

The morning plan was to do a brief hike before we checked out of our cabins. Over breakfast, Mom regaled us all with lovely stories of past marathon runners, all healthy and in their prime, who prematurely and horrifically perished while hiking in the Grand Canyon. Their shriveled up bodies were only discovered days later by search teams. Lovely. Thanks Mom.

Personally, I wasn’t too worried. All these victims were experienced hikers and in great shape. As I am neither, I figure I’m pretty much good to go, right? Hey, don’t destroy my delusions.

Our first hike was Bright Angel Hike, a long winding trail that eventually leads the 7-8 miles down to the floor of the canyon. No, don’t worry, we didn’t make it. We hiked about 30 minutes, picked an arbitrary rock as our destination, touched it and turned around. It provides a more immediate feeling of accomplishment. PLUS, the tricky thing about canyon hiking is that you start off going down. Meaning, after you are tired and sweaty, you still have to turn around and climb back up.


The coolest thing about this hike was how many foreigners we bumped into. Let’s see, I heard Spanish, German, British English, lots of French, Italian, I think some Dutch, and lots of Japanese. And plus a few more languages I didn’t recognize. Kind of cool to think about all the tourists coming to our country.

Another cool thing was seeing the giant pack mules, scaling the cliffs. I knew they were beasts of burden, but I didn’t realize how big they were.

Ooh Ahh Point

The second hike we did, after we navigated the perilous parking lots and ran over old ladies to get the one open parking space, was to Ooh Ahh Point, apparently named after the noises human make upon arriving there. John Alex and I immediately reenacted the George of the Jungle scene in which the hikers reach Ape Mountain.
Narrator: “And they reacted with awe.”
Hikers: “Awwwh!”
Narrator: “No , not awwh, AWE. A-W-E.”
Hikers: “Oooooh!”
That dialogue either brought back great childhood memories or left you completely bewildered.

The hike down was very steep and zig-zaggy. Mom kept shouting out things like “Peligroso!” and “Crocodilios!” Because, you know, there are a lot of crocodiles climbing along the path at 7,000 feet above sea level in the middle of a desert. (Yeah, I have no idea why either…)


The funny thing was that everyone walking down the canyon path still had big goofy grins on their faces. No one had them coming back up the canyon path. Hmmm, this did not forebode well.

Now, we were told that Ooh Ahh point wasn’t actually labeled. So we weren’t entirely sure when we would get there, since the path actually continued on past it. Knowing this, Dad stopped at every bend in the path and said “Is this it? I think this is it. Let’s turn back”. I can’t believe that *I*, Ellen Porter, was NOT the person complaining the most on this hike. Because you guys know how I feel about hiking.

Eventually, we made it to Ooh Ahh Point. Or at least we made it to an outcropping that we were now going to call Ooh Ahh Point, regardless of whether it actually was Ooh Ahh Point. Together, we did our customary oohing and ahhing the location required and then turned around and went back up. A buzzard began circling above us on the hike back up. No joke.


 Panting and trying to entertain ourselves, we began making comments like “Wow, I can’t believe we just hiked across the entire canyon!” or “That was quite a hike from the Northern Rim”, every time a family passed us going back down the canyon. They didn’t look convinced. It might’ve been because they didn’t speak English. Or maybe it was because I kept tripping over every upturned rock. Ah well.

The climb back up. Oh Lordy Lordy.

Grand Canyon Facts

Well that concludes our hiking experience in the Grand Canyon National Park. I figure that hiking expedition will last me for at least another 5 years or so until I am once again dragged to do more hiking despite the fact it violates my principles as a lazy person.

I thought I would put a few little facts that I learned about the Grand Canyon in this section:
·         277 miles long, 8,000 feet deep, and very, very wide
·         If you raft along the Colorado river it will take you 14 to 21 days (7 to 10 days by motorized boat)
·         Only 2% of visitors ever venture below the rim of the canyon. Only 1% make it to the bottom.
·         Over 250 people need to be rescued by helicopter each year. A helicopter rescue costs $25,000. (insane!)
·         Japanese tourists always arrive by the busload. (Ok this isn’t a Grand Canyon fact, but just something I’ve observed everywhere).

Check out my panorama of the Grand Canyon! (Click for larger) 

Oh yeah, two last things. One, we saw an elk only 5 feet from our shuttle! It had cool furry antlers. Two, rumor has it that our vice president, Mr. Joe Biden, was also at the Grand Canyon the same time we were! I went on a celebrity hunt, but the roads were blocked off and there were intimidating unmarked white vehicles near the entrance to where he was staying. Normally, this wouldn’t stop me, but my family didn’t want to wait for me.

Back to Vegas

We drive the six hours or so back to Vegas, after we finished hiking to our hearts’ content. Along the way, we stopped for dinner at a pizzeria that apparently 3 Presidents have eaten at (both Bushes and Clinton, allegedly). Kinda cool :)

Once back in Vegas, we check into a new hotel by the name of Monte Carlo. The only problem is, they were apparently booked to the full (and this is a huge hotel, just like all the Vegas ones)   This meant that they didn’t have to honor our non-smoking reservation and put us instead in smoking rooms. Ugh, my clothes still smell funnily. Ah well.

Well that’s all for today folks! Lots more awesome pictures at http://picasaweb.google.com/115787829715255758995/WestCoastSummer2010#

Cool view on the drive back

The Giant Hole in the Ground

Monday, July 26th

Why hello there, friends and family. I hope those travelling yesterday after the reunion made it home at least moderately intact. We, Porters, as you might recall from my previous blogpost, are currently located in the armpit of America, the Sin City itself, the ever fabulous: Las Vegas.

Morning Travels

As we walked through the casino on our way to check out of Excalibur, our hotel for the evening, the air smelled of old smoke, spilt beer and bad decisions. Surprisingly (or really, not so surprisingly), people were still sitting on the slot machines, drinking beer, and pulling the lever, over and over and over again. Ugh, who can drink beer at 8:30 in the morning?

If I could sum up the Vegas experience in one term, it would be this: exhaust pipe. Not only was it so oppressively hot that I was constantly looking around for the bus I was apparently standing behind, but, metaphorically speaking, Vegas takes what it is given, sucks out the good stuff and expels the dirty, grimy part that no one really wants anyway. Just like an exhaust pipe.

We loaded up our car and set off on our 6 hour drive to the Grand Canyon, where we’ll be spending the next two days. Yepp we will be driving a 12 hour round trip to see a giant hole in the ground. Well it’s something to cross off the bucket list! Along the way, we briefly stopped at the Hoover Dam. And by briefly, I mean “Everyone-get-out-of-the-car-RUN-go-take-a-picture-now-lets-go-go-go!”

The Hoover Dam

Carmen, our Garmin, also spent the entire trip trying to take us down small, tiny dirt roads but we had a mutiny, muted her, and opted instead to stay on the highway.

The Grand Canyon

Pulling up at the gate at the entrance to the Grand Canyon, we saw that the entrance fee was $25. However, Dad whipped out his handy-dandy Seniors National Parks membership card and we all got in for free! That is the best deal ever. For a $10 lifetime membership, Dad can bring ANYone he wants into ANY of the national parks. For the rest of his life. So if you’re planning on visiting any national parks anytime soon, it is totally worth it to kidnap a senior to bring with you.

Spying a series of parked cars along side of the road, we too park out car and get out. My first thought: that it is freezing. It is about 65 degrees at this point, which is a huge temperature change from the 105 degrees that it was in Vegas just this morning. Doesn’t Arizona know that not only is it a desert but also the middle of summer?! (Nate pointed out that I am about the only person in the world to be cold in a desert).

Ok here are my impressions of the Grand Canyon:
1.       You’re kind of just walking along, la-di-dah-ing, and then BAM! GIANT CLIFF FACE OVERLOOKING A HUGE DROP. Can you imagine how the first settlers must felt, just stumbling across this thing?
2.       The multicolored canyon walls stretch as far as the eye can see, and it feels like you are standing on the top of the world.
3.       You couldn’t see the bottom. At least not here. Something about the way the canyon walls sloped downward obscured the views of the Colorado River.
4.       The whole thing was blue. Yes, blue. I don’t know, many most canyons are blue, but I was expecting it to be reddish brown, like the pictures. Maybe it is normally. But it look very blue to me.


So I tried to take some pictures. I really did. And I’ll try and show you, but of course I’m going to have to preface it with the cliché “they really don’t do the place justice”. And they don’t. Still photographs can never give you the sense of depth or magnitude that two eyes can. So if anyone happens to be living vicariously through this blog (and I hope not, since that would only pressure me into doing crazy, adventurous stunts to feel worthy of that status), don’t look at these pictures and instead just journey your way over here to see it for yourself.

But still a pretty cool picture, huh?

Cabin time

We check into our cabins for the night, and by this point, it is dark – meaning we missed the sunset. Alas. Next time. I hesitantly make the silent promise to awake bright and early tomorrow to see the sunrise. (Anyone who knows me well should be laughing their heads off right now). Yeahhh, me and mornings aren’t exactly a match made in heaven.

I spend the latter part of the evening going on an epic quest for internet, which actually involved more trials and tribulations than one would assume. Finally, victory is mine! I chat with a few friends on Facebook, only to watch helplessly, a few minutes later, as those “friends” proceed to like-bomb me.

What is like-bombing, do you ask? Well, let me explain. Like-bombing is when several people, simultaneously, begin “liking” every single status, post, link, comment, etc. on a single person’s Facebook page. “But Ellen,” you ask, “doesn’t this make you feel loved and appreciated?” NO, absolutely NOT. It makes you want to grab the nearest sharp object, cut your computer to shreds and then use the pieces to spell out your suicide note. “But why don’t you just ignore it?” you ask, confused. Ignore it? You try doing ANYTHING on the Internet when your entire browser is blowing up from the 84 new Facebook notifications filling the screen. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The only consolation is that Nash’s computer crashed three times as a result of this. Ha ha, karma’s a b*tch.

Ok, enough petty complaining for the evening. Tomorrow, we will awake bright and early to go hiking throughout the canyon. Hasta la vez proxima. 

Monday, July 26, 2010 0 comments

Welcome to Sin City

Sunday, July 25th

Sorry, folks, that this post is a bit late. We got back to our Vegas hotel room and I couldn’t for the life of me figure how to make the Internet work. Defeated, I just resigned myself to bed for the evening…only to awake the next morning to see the Internet cable 3 feet from my head. Vegas, 1. Ellen’s powers of observation, 0.

Also, for those just joining us, this blog is documenting the entire Porter West Coast adventure, not just the reunion. Someone just happened to let slip yesterday at the concluding meeting for our reunion that I was keeping a blog of the trip, so there have been a few requests for me to send this blog out to everyone. Hmmm, I will do this, but with a disclaimer: I ramble, I remark, I misspell and I make bad jokes. If you can put up with a nineteen-year-old’s stream of consciousness, then by all means, read on :).

The Concluding Meeting


The sun rose on a flurry of activity here in Estes Park. Everyone was running around packing, grabbing breakfast, calling airlines to confirm flights, and sentimentally staring at the campground that housed and (attempted to) feed us these past few days. Or in my case, the sun rose on an oversleeping teenager who only semi managed to make herself presentable once the pounding knock on the door by her mother revealed that she was running quite late. Typical.

We met up and formed a large circle in the conference room that was our central meeting place for the entire reunion. Always prepared, several large poster boards were already hung up and markers were uncapped, ready for us to start creating a giant pros and cons list for the reunion and to brainstorm ideas for the next reunion in 3 years. Ch-yeah, we take reunion-ing to the next level. None of this last minute, thrown together get-togethers for us. No sirree. We Porters are hard-core to the max.

So a quick summary of the meeting:
Pros
·         Excellent planning by Deanne Butterfield and Ruth York (virtual high-five!)
·         Awesome activities like horseback riding and competitive putt-putting. I guess I’ll include hiking under this list, though I don’t know if I would consider walking in circles, lost in the woods, “awesome”.
·         Super cool family members. Can’t have a successful reunion without them.
·         And plenty of liquor for when we needed a little extra help dealing with the super coolness of our family members.
Cons
·         Large location – normally I assume everyone I bump into at reunions is somehow related to me. The fact that other families were also present in Estes Park forced me to actually know who all I was related to. A shocking concept.
·         The food. Let’s just say it left a lot to be desired. And it made my dorm food from this past year look gourmet.
·         Altitude – well this was on the cons list, but personally it was on my pros list. It totally allowed me to keep lying to myself as to the true reason why I was huffing and puffing after climbing one flight of stairs.

Finally, we grabbed a couple of unfortunate volunteers to decide the location and host of the next reunion. Not all of these volunteers were present. Tehehe, that’s what you get for taking off early! Just kidding…

The Therapeutic Cry Session

We finished off our reunion with a round robin with everyone saying what was the most gratifying, impressive, or poignant experience from the weekend. Or the GIP session, as I liked to call it. Luckily the words weren’t switched around or it would’ve been the PIG session.

Ok, that was my final lame joke of this section. Cue: serious, heartfelt reflection time.

This round robin, which I initially thought was going to be very lame (no offense, John), turned out to be one of the most touching experiences of the reunion. Everyone was given the opportunity to speak on the experience that mean the most to them, and it became a really powerful bonding moment as emotions were laid bare and people poured out their hearts.

Now this being said, as soon as the first eye started misting up, I became a blubbering fool, bawling my eyes out in the corner. Others soon followed, and we all bonded over a single passed tissue box that was completely empty by the time we got all the way around the circle. And that fact right there meant a lot to me. The fact that our get-togethers, however short they may be, manages to mean so much to people that there wasn’t a dry eye in the room, that says a lot. And it’s a testament to what a loving and tightly bound family we have become, despite the physical distance that lies between us the other 2 years and 361 days between reunions.

Finally, after I cried out about 10 pounds of body fluids, we all got up and gave our final goodbyes. Or at least, temporary goodbyes, as we sure to see most of us again in a 3 years time. Or sooner, if you are a poor college student like myself and like to crash on the couches of family members rather than at hotels when travelling.

All in all, it was great getting to see everyone. I love you fam! And if you want to see more pics from the reunion, check out my web album at: http://picasaweb.google.com/115787829715255758995

Denver Airport

Ok, if you are still reading this, props to you. I know it is getting a little lengthy and not relevant to most. Family members, that was the end of the reunion section. However, the blog will still continue for the rest of our West Coast adventures, so you are more that welcome to keep reading. In fact, I would be honored. But feel no obligation to. And if you manage to stick it out til next Saturday, I’ll post my link to the blog I’ll be keeping for my India trip! (You would think I just offered you free candy with how I just phrased that. “If you keep reading my teenage ramblings, I’ll reward you with…the opportunity to read MORE teenage ramblings!”) Again, no obligations, but just throwing it out there.

We left Estes Park, Colorado and once again, in a manner typical of any time I travel, I spent the two hour ride back gazing at the scenic sights of my inner eyelids. We did stop briefly by a bubbling brook to eat our packed lunches given to us by the YMCA. Upon opening them, we were delighted to find that we received not one, but TWO peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This delighted me far more than it should’ve.

 

Once back in Denver, we dropped off the rental car at Alamo, where the rental car man was a flurry of efficiency. He had our car inspected, our information recorded, and our receipt printed before I could finish my sleepy stutter of “Where are we?”

The Denver airport was exactly the same way. The super nice Southwest man helped my efficiency-impaired family navigate the ticket stand. The security man sent us to the “secret” security line that had no people waiting (and by secret I mean the less used one at the end of the airport). Dad did get searched. Again. AND, the best part was, we ran in to a bajillion family members also in the airport. You know how it can sometimes be awkward running into someone after you already said goodbye? Not us. We started keeping a tally of how many people we could scream joyfully at across the airport while jumping up and down waving frantically. We got 6. The man sitting next to me began looking uneasy as you could see him debating whether or not to call the nearest psych ward.

Denver to Las Vegas

The flight was uneventful. I read the Reader’s Digest that was left in the seat pocket and learned that New Jersey ranks #45 on the nation’s best roads. I couldn’t believe it. You mean there are 5 WORSE states than New Jersey?! (Sorry, if I have any New Jersey readers but I hate driving in your state. You stole my hubcap.) Also, the pilot started off the flight telling us that the current temperature in Las Vegas was 110 degrees. Yayyyy.

Sin City

We arrive in Las Vegas and are immediately greeted with the ever classy slot machines located right near our arrival gate. Welcome to Sin City. We also saw a poster for Thunder from Down Under, the hot Australian men dancing show that was playing at our hotel. John Alex aspired to be one of them:


After an absolutely hell-ish experience with our rental car (don’t rent Dollar in Las Vegas), much screaming when we realized that Las Vegas roads aren’t lined, an epic search for a parking space, and much weaving between the crowds consisting of the classiest and fittest Americans, we finally make it to our hotel room. Located on the 22nd floor I might add. Look at our cool hotel!


After dropping off our stuff, we hit up the casino. Sticking a dollar into the nearest slot machine, we crank the handle, push the button, and…we lost. Surprise! Vegas stole our money. Exemplifying the Aesop fable of Sour Grapes, we bitterly mutter that we didn’t want to play slots anyway and left to go explore the hotels.

 The slot machines at the MGM Grand

Ok, just a question. Who would fly all the way out to Vegas to stay in a hotel named New York, New York? Yes the building was a cool replica of the Big Apple, but I still don’t understand it. Eventually, tired of battling the crowds holding giant plastic guitars, filled with beverages and attached straws, we all retire for the evening. Vegas, +$1, Porter family, -$1. The House always wins.

The hotel New York, New York

By the way, if you made it through this entire post, accolades to you. This turned out to be WAY longer than I expected and I, for one, am very familiar with the decreasing American attention span. So thanks if you made it this far!

Signing out.

Saturday, July 24, 2010 1 comments

Blame it on the Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Altitude

So I just realized that it posted the date at the top of every post so I fortunately no longer have to keep writing it. Hooray! To set the scene, right now I am sitting outside, surrounded by mountains, trying to soak up some sun while debating whether anyone will notice if I devour the last half of the box filled with blueberry scones. Soooo tempting. But I shall resist so I might regale you with our day’s adventures.

Horseback Riding

This morning we woke up quite early, donned our riding gear (which in my case, being the avid horsewoman that I am, consisted of a pair of jeans and sneakers) and headed to the livery. Thirteen family members were present, so we basically dominated the riding group that set out, thus beginning the Great Horseback Adventure.

We were assigned certain horses based on our size and past riding experience (which for me was a grand total of two times), and I was greeted by a skewbald horse by the name of Trooper. Now Trooper and I are like BFFs. He totally agreed with me on the fact that walking in a straight, single file line was boring and so instead spent the majority of the trip trying to sneak a taste of the yummy shrubberies. However, since we basically we of the same mind, I caught onto his little tricks and so, for the most part, I was able to thwart his advances.



I really think that the horses tended to match the personalities of their riders. For instance, Trooper and I would both much rather be eating than hiking aimlessly along a trail. John Alex’s horse Pete, being the horse in front of us, spent the duration of the trip leaving delightful steaming packages, ever so thoughtfully, right in front of us. He even thought to perfume the air for us, with his oh so wonderful inner body smell. Lovely.



However, the trip itself was a ton of fun. We ended up riding for about two and a half hours throughout the Rocky Mountain National Park. The views were fantastic and you got to ride magnificent beasts while you’re at it. While I still wouldn’t describe myself as a horse fanatic by any means (this would entail me actually having feelings), I have decided that I would love to take up jousting. They unfortunately don’t allow the man on man jousting anymore, but they still do have the jousting where you try and hit a hanging wooden circle of two inches in diameter with a 6 foot long lance while riding at full speed.

And no, I didn’t get to try it today. But I did get to talk to my Uncle Jack about it, who has been riding horses for 75 years and was named California’s Horseman of the Year in the 70s. He was some pretty hot stuff. Like red, hot chili pepper hot. So I picked his brain about his new possibility of mine. But all in all, loved the experience :)

Mini-Golf aka Mini-Hockey

After lunch and a brief catnap in the sun, six of us hit up the mini-golf range here at our campground/lodge thingy. What started off as a very serious game with tightly regulated rules, morphed into an equally serious game of competitive golf-hockey. We couldn’t quite figure out if we were playing with each other or against, since people were simultaneously kicking balls off the course, while setting up paths of clubs leading straight to the hole, making it impossible for others to miss.

The rules basically morphed into this:
1.       If you don’t make a hole in one, others reserve the right to steal your ball and play it for you.
2.       If the ball doesn’t stop moving, then it still counts as one hit, regardless of how many times a club touches it.
3.       On random holes, we would all have to switch to playing left-handed, much to uneasiness of the other players at the course.
And my personal favorite:
4.       If the course obstacle at that hole was stupid, kicking the ball was not only allowed but highly encouraged.

But a lot of fun, bonding with the relatives.

Movietime and the Great Key Adventure

After skipping the 8 of the last 9 holes at the putt putt range, the group took off to our central meeting place where we watched Steve Huyler’s new award-winning documentary that he made about this woman’s art in India. Uncle Jack also gave everyone copies of his book and CD that he made of folk songs he sang while growing up.


Look at the pins we got! "Blood is thicker than cement"


We had a brief break before the giant family ordeal of the family panoramic, so Dad and I decided to head back to the room. Unfortunately, when we got there, neither of our keys worked. Bear in mind that these are real keys and not flimsy plastic cards. But the keys would only go in halfway. This was really bizarre because they were working perfectly well just hours prior.

Now, as many of you know, I have issues with keys and opening locked doors. However, after becoming a recent fan of the new TV show Covert Affairs, I decided to release my inner secret agent and try my hand, once again, at lock picking. And guess what? I DID IT! I successfully managed to open a locked door with only a credit card!!! Gah, I felt like such a secret agent. This feeling was soon lost when people pointed out that real secret agents didn’t ecstatically shout their success at picking locks to the entire building.

But we made it into the room, and funnily enough, the lock fixed itself soon after. Weird.

Portraits and Porter Follies
At 5:30, the family began assembling to take our traditional panoramic photo, taken by my Uncle Ben, the photographer. Gee, isn’t it handy to have at least one of those in the family?

Now this is always a long complex affair, though luckily, this year, Dad opted to keep his shirt on for the majority of the photos. I snapped a quick shot of the entire assembled family (present here at the reunion). I believe the last count was that we had 77 people here out of the possible 110 that are still living. But you can count the peeps in the picture to verify:


Click to see full size image

After the picture, I sprinted across the camp to grab my computer just in time to check in for our Southwest flight tomorrow. It wasn’t that far, but I sure was huffing and puffing when I got there. I blame the altitude and the resulting lack of oxygen. The fact that I haven’t exercised all summer had nothing to do with it, I assure you. In fact, the altitude became a great fall back excuse for anything, be it having difficulty hiking, forgetting the lyrics to the family folk songs, or losing horribly in putt-putt. ♪Blame it on the a-a-a-a-altitude ♪

The evening was spent hosting our first Porter Family Follies. Generally each reunion we do a sort of a talent show, but this year it was fairly more organized. It was great. We had people doing cheers, telling funny stories, singing songs they wrote, the whole lot. Unfortunately, my side of the family seemed to miss out of the musical gene that seemed to grace every other family member at the reunion, and we were forced to watch and bemoan our lack of any performable talents. What could I do? Give everyone a tour of Carolina?

 

But it was a great conclusion to our family reunion. Tomorrow we’ll have one last get together before everyone goes their separate ways. It was great getting to see and talk to everyone, and learn new things. Like what to do when a bear chases you and other useful things like that. (The answer, my friends, is to dial zero).

But that’s all for tonight, folks. Peace out.